Oh, how I relate. We had so much more in common than I even knew. 💔 I wonder if you had words for your emotions at the time or only in retrospect. Ohhh, ohhh, ohhh... So evocative, my dear. So real and raw. Thank you for sharing this part of that terrifying era.
I knew things were bad, Sumaya, but when reading your words I acknowledge the fact that I had no idea how bad. I can only read it knowing that you do come through it in the end. I hope that it is reaching the people that are suffering like you did, and bring them hope. Thank you again for sharing your story with us!
There’s no way anyone outside our house could have known, Scottie. It was so surreal. Inconceivable, really. But throughout out it all, we so appreciated your kindness, the many, many times you reached out and checked on us. Thank you. And thank you for being here again, for taking the time to read. I deeply appreciate it❤️
Dear Sumaya, I both listened to your narration and then read the words again, something I can only do because I know you are here today, smiling and living a life that brings you joy.
When I read the last lines of your poem;
"Have faith, dear one.
Trust this grueling adventure.
You are exactly where you're supposed to be."
I believe them with the very bones of me. I am a great believer in fate, everything, and I mean everything! in life that happens to us has a purpose. It comes for a reason. I have been in that place...
Whether we are conscious of this reason during whatever ill befalls us is negligible, the pain the grief the heartbreak — whatever— outweighs clear thought but so often, when we find lightness again it is there, glaring at us with a smile as if to say, wasn't it obvious? Didn't you know why you had to suffer these days?
I hope this is what happened for you, I truly do... I hope that this utterly unbearable time of your life was for a reason. xx
It’s in your bones and mine, Susie… that deep knowing that the best of things come on the wings of the worst of things. I know it with such certainty now. The truth is that I would not take any of it back, despite how devastating it was. It put me on a path I would never have found, or had the courage to step onto, otherwise. It lives in me now in the best of ways. Not something to have simply “survived", but something that has polished me, and not demolished me.
Life is such a mystery. A beautiful, sometimes devastating, mystery.
Diane, I took a nice long moment to let in your kindness (and I mean all the way in!), and it feels really good! Thank you for seeing me and thank you for taking the time to share kind words❤️
Your description of this difficult time brings to mind Dante's Devine Comedy. I look forward to more of your writing as your life story moves through the stages of Purgatory and Paradiso which I imagine you are in today. I found for myself that understanding and looking back with clarity and sensetivity to a difficult or dark time in the past is possible only when standing in light. I love your artwork.
Karam, the connection to Dante is unexpected! I haven’t thought of it and I appreciate you sharing it. And yes, you’re right that from here my story will unfold into a new phase… Purgatorio and paradiso are quite apt for what comes next! And yes, you’re also right that it’s not possible to share a story of a truly dark time without standing firmly in the light : ). And thank you for the kind comment about my art!
Thank you, Leah. I too find myself longing for “the turn” in my story. I’m noticing my impatience, the impulse to rush it, get on with it, get to the “good” parts. Noticing and feeling through it…thanks for being right there with me❤️
I can't even imagine what it's been like to look back on that time - let alone to have lived through it. And still, we all need to hear, witness, linger with those voices of agony; it is a truth of life, not to be denied.
Thank you Jan. I hope my words can find they way to others who have experienced that painful erasure. It’s healing to see and be seen (or hear and be heard!). Thank you for reading, Jan❤️
Oh, how I relate. We had so much more in common than I even knew. 💔 I wonder if you had words for your emotions at the time or only in retrospect. Ohhh, ohhh, ohhh... So evocative, my dear. So real and raw. Thank you for sharing this part of that terrifying era.
Sumaya your voice is so soothing. You write hard words and you deliver them like on a feather.
Thank you Sean. I’m so glad the audio is worthwhile. Thanks for being here and for listening❤️
I knew things were bad, Sumaya, but when reading your words I acknowledge the fact that I had no idea how bad. I can only read it knowing that you do come through it in the end. I hope that it is reaching the people that are suffering like you did, and bring them hope. Thank you again for sharing your story with us!
There’s no way anyone outside our house could have known, Scottie. It was so surreal. Inconceivable, really. But throughout out it all, we so appreciated your kindness, the many, many times you reached out and checked on us. Thank you. And thank you for being here again, for taking the time to read. I deeply appreciate it❤️
Dear Sumaya, I both listened to your narration and then read the words again, something I can only do because I know you are here today, smiling and living a life that brings you joy.
When I read the last lines of your poem;
"Have faith, dear one.
Trust this grueling adventure.
You are exactly where you're supposed to be."
I believe them with the very bones of me. I am a great believer in fate, everything, and I mean everything! in life that happens to us has a purpose. It comes for a reason. I have been in that place...
Whether we are conscious of this reason during whatever ill befalls us is negligible, the pain the grief the heartbreak — whatever— outweighs clear thought but so often, when we find lightness again it is there, glaring at us with a smile as if to say, wasn't it obvious? Didn't you know why you had to suffer these days?
I hope this is what happened for you, I truly do... I hope that this utterly unbearable time of your life was for a reason. xx
It’s in your bones and mine, Susie… that deep knowing that the best of things come on the wings of the worst of things. I know it with such certainty now. The truth is that I would not take any of it back, despite how devastating it was. It put me on a path I would never have found, or had the courage to step onto, otherwise. It lives in me now in the best of ways. Not something to have simply “survived", but something that has polished me, and not demolished me.
Life is such a mystery. A beautiful, sometimes devastating, mystery.
I relish your comments, Susie. Thank you❤️
So very powerful! I am so very proud of you and your dedication to healing and sharing your journey💝💜💝
Diane, I took a nice long moment to let in your kindness (and I mean all the way in!), and it feels really good! Thank you for seeing me and thank you for taking the time to share kind words❤️
Your description of this difficult time brings to mind Dante's Devine Comedy. I look forward to more of your writing as your life story moves through the stages of Purgatory and Paradiso which I imagine you are in today. I found for myself that understanding and looking back with clarity and sensetivity to a difficult or dark time in the past is possible only when standing in light. I love your artwork.
Karam, the connection to Dante is unexpected! I haven’t thought of it and I appreciate you sharing it. And yes, you’re right that from here my story will unfold into a new phase… Purgatorio and paradiso are quite apt for what comes next! And yes, you’re also right that it’s not possible to share a story of a truly dark time without standing firmly in the light : ). And thank you for the kind comment about my art!
Sallemle ‘a Krys wa Rosie, Karam! Shta’tillkun!
Feeling through your words. Longing for your relief.
Thank you, Leah. I too find myself longing for “the turn” in my story. I’m noticing my impatience, the impulse to rush it, get on with it, get to the “good” parts. Noticing and feeling through it…thanks for being right there with me❤️
I can't even imagine what it's been like to look back on that time - let alone to have lived through it. And still, we all need to hear, witness, linger with those voices of agony; it is a truth of life, not to be denied.
Such a beautiful description of such a painful time. I love reading your story… connection is medicine. Xoxo
oh my goodness yes! Connection is such powerful medicine. I deeply appreciate ours, Amy❤️
Loved hearing your voice. Your words so beautifully spoken 🙏
Thank you Christina. I’m grateful that you’re with me and also happy to know that it’s worth the time and effort to offer a recording❤️
So resonant, Sumaya -- the tricks of time and pain eording the sense of self.
Thank you Jan. I hope my words can find they way to others who have experienced that painful erasure. It’s healing to see and be seen (or hear and be heard!). Thank you for reading, Jan❤️